How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
