"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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