I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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