did you get engaged???
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
