I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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