I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
