4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
