I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
