Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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