She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
