the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
