Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
