brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
God, I missed his penis.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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