you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
