I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dicks are not precious.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
