dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
