i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
