Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
