I'm gonna have a badass scar
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
