HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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