Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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