She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
