why didn't you poke me back
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
