I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
