At least make sure they are 18
Why
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
