I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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