u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
this just has baby written all over it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
