Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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