you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
