this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
