Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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