his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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