I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
