So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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