I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
