For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my being single is dangerous.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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