They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
