just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
