Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Can Purell be used as lube?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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