I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
