who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
They are going to name an STD after you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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