I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
