I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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