We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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