Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
