My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
