I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
