Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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