things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
