Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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