I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
